OHH Brother....

Champ is our little social butterfly. He LOVES interacting with his friends at school, church, and around the neighborhood. He is great at making new friends. Well the past couple of week we have run into a problem that he never had before. He discovered how cute a couple of little girls were in his class at school. He came home a couple of weeks ago telling us that he had a girlfriend named Taya and that they played all the time together and that they are going to get married. He would tell me all the time how beautiful she was. I thought it was cute but didn't think to much of it. Well this week he came up to me and said, "Mom, I have a little problem, Taya AND Chloe BOTH want to marry me, what should I do??!" I laughed and said, "Honey, you have a VERY long time before you have to think about getting married. You don't have to worry about it until after you go on your mission." He looked shocked, and said, "But mom, it's a HUGE decision, I need to think about it now!"

He cracks me up. This week he has been taking a little plastic ring to school everyday and has been letting the girls take turns wearing it, and then at the end of the day he gets it back from them. SO random and weird...he told me today that the girls started fighting over who wants to marry him the most. I asked him what he does while they fight and he says he doesn't say anything. He says he just sits back and listens! ha ha! Who knew my little Champ was such a heart throb! Silly boy.

(poor kid doesn't know who to pick!)

potty time!!

Kasper is 20 months, and is getting so big! He cracks us up everyday. Of coarse he likes to do everything his older brother does. He loves trying to pee in the toilet when Champ needs to go and sometimes actually does. Well today while Champ was at school, he came up to me and said,"Mommy....POOP!" Usually he tells me when he has already gone, but today I realized he hadn't gone yet so we ran to the bathroom and I put him on the POT and he actually WENT!!! I was SO surprised!!! He was so excited, gave me a high five and called his grandpa to tell him the good news. I am so thrilled! I hope this is the start of some great potty times! (too bad I just bought a HUGE thing of diapers from Costco the other day)

My LOVE BIRDs

Happy Birthday LOVER!

Bobby turned 31 on thursday...I am so in love with him...he is the bomb. Happy birthday honey.
all my cute boys...

The Bachelor (Week 6)

This weeks "thoughts" on the Bachelor.

View this episode here

vienna and her dad, borat, in their cracked picture frame

vienna and her dad, borat, after she won the gold cup for ........ i dunno... worst extensions/makeup?

RECAP of the EPISODE:
Gia's hometown was first, and she decides that the best way to see New York is by boat? Really? I have to disagree but what do I know? I'm a California girl. Anyway, they have an impromptu photo shoot (probably because they were on a boat tour of NYC and weren't seeing anything new) which was...normal. But, hey abc, do you think I'm some sort of fool? If you're going to show us their snapshots, actually show us their snapshots-otherwise we can do without the camera noises and the fake photos.

After the boat ride they head to meet Gia's guido family. Was her step brother Erick one of Snookis boyfriends on the Jersey Shore? I was hoping he would break out a fist pump. A little disappointed that we weren't able to see their house or were never introduced to the little brother? Who was that kid? All in all, Gia is the hottest in her family, although her mom does have a GREAT set of legs.

After New York, Jake flew (on the wings of love, I'm sure) to MA to meet Alli and her family. As soon as they are reunited alli starts talking about her dead grandma. Who else besides me thought that maybe she was going to take him to a
Cemetary? Phew! She didnt, but they did however go visit her grandmas ghost at her old house. I hate to be insensitive but that was weird. She mentioned her grandma was crying tears of happiness for her and Jake after she "met" him, which is sweet of a ghost to do, since they usually just haunt.

Allie's family seems normal. I had to keep telling myself that they live in MA and not one of the old Provo houses south of campus that I lived in (Seriously, that kitchen is straight off of 5th north and 2nd east).

Next stop, Oregon! Are Tenley and Jake not a match made in heaven? And how cute was her little skirted pea coat/target rain boots combo? I was loving her playful little outfit. I generally love Tenley but she's a liar-your husband NEVER saw you dance and you're a dancer? Was your husband blind?I really find that hard to believe otherwise. But bAck to the dancing, if it were anyone else I would say "save the weird private lyrical recital" for a time without the cameras, but since it's Tenley it was kind of sweet, right?

Tenley really is sweet. My "staffer" friend has been telling us that since the beginning. Well now we know where she gets it from! How cute was her dad? Oh man that fam is perfectly nice. The cheese just oozes and it's perfectly acceptable because you know it's sincere. If Jake doesn't pick this girl he's insane.

After the best hometown date of the night, Jake flew to the bayou to meet Vienna's family. Everyone of the girls dresses fine and mostly always adorable...especially on these hometown dates-really appropriate, and Vienna...well, her outfit was expected. Daisy dukes, a pink bathing suit top, a wife beater and a drapey off the shoulder tshirt...do they only have Clothestime and Wet Seal in Sanford, FL? She was dressed for the occasion I guess...a jungle cruise. The most hilarious part about this portion of the show was that Jake said "Vienna is so natural" uhh what part? Her hair? Boobs? Skin color? Or were you talking about her nose...? Cause I'm pretty sure that's the only thing left that's au natural.

Viennas family is just that...Vienna's family. I read this week that her mom is a topless dancer...yikes. Her dad awkwardly walked in on them kissing which was obviously staged. Whatever I'm over Vienna. WHY IS SHE STILL ON?

NOW THE GOLD OF THE EPISODE, the rose ceremony. This rose ceremony was filmed just steps from my work at the Beverly Wilshire Hotel so I was excited to see it on tv...however the filming was in the middle of the night. That's right folks, insider info: the rose ceremonies are taped way late. Allie's emotional breakdown took place between 2 and 3am...and my staffer was one if 20-30 people in the room for Jake and alli's "private talk." the "staffer" says that Alli was crying and pouting for a good hour and a half before she finally made a decision. He didn't however know if she had just got out of a convertible on the freeway or a tornado with that hair...wow girl you looked like you just ran a marathon with that hair.

The end for Alli? I bet she's back next week, in the same fashion as Ed.

here are a some other items that made me giggle.

• pucca shells? rastafarian pucca shells? seriously?! WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM, JAKE! GET A GRIP, YOU CHEESY TOOL! (sorry.. had to get that off my chest.)
• "i've got her back" (re: gia) whats with the "got her back" talk?! was he trying to smack ghetto while talking to her mafia fam?
• love how gia's clearly NOT from new york. she's evidently from a bourough... the staged restaurant situation was very strange.
  
• step brother (aka. sonic the hedgehog). doesn't gia own a salon?! yikes.
  
• i'm always amazed when parents question the process- really?! you KNOW your daughter went on the bachelor, right? why are you drilling him about the 3 (or 4-as vienna's slick academic dad put it) other ladies he's dating.
  
• ali's walk. enough said.
  
• i appreciate her attempt to do her hair on the hometown, but really? straight with curling iron tight ends? sad.
• appreciated jakes Massachusetts costume.... pea coat. duly noted.
• did they really spend 3-4 min talking about the leaves before spontaneously (staged) frolicking and wishing on them? yes. they did.
  
• ali thoughtfully matched her jeans to those hideous blue cabinets in mom's kitchen.
  
• where are the dads?! did anyone mention gia or ali's dads? where were they?!
• wasn't it classy that when ali dropped the L-bomb on J, he thoughtfully pulled off his gloves in slow-mo then groped her face with his sweaty glove hands when he planted one on her?
• then did you notice that the next cut was of him kissing her with the gloves on?! magic!!!
  
• i think we have a new nickname: "tenley left-eye-lopez" . i saw that left eye from under the hair the entire episode.....
• ooook. that dance creeped me out in the most fundamental way. however, i really do think T meant it sincerely (unlike all of the rest of the ladies.)
• t and j are the only choice. they'll be mr. and mrs. boring cheeseball, but at least they're on the same page.
  
• tenley gave jake an "inside to her soul." bhh.
• vienna is white trash. confirmed.
  
• and she got a healthy dose of botox in the forehead pre-hometown.
  
• say this 4 times fast: "i've never felt the feeling of falling before"
• notice that jakie brought out his southern drawl to meet the dad?
• according to v's mom (who must have pushed her out at a young age), she has "went thru this her entire life"....... probably cause she never learned correct english?
• philosopher jake: life is about minimizing regrets.
• ali's breakdown was comical..but my favorite part was when she walked down the hall, wailed like a cow in heat, hit the floor and looked back to see if the cameras were on her.
  
• ali, WHAT were you wearing at the rose ceremony?! you looked like tacky malibu skipper had her head rubbed into the carpet by somebody's big brother.
  
• also, when you cry, keep your legs together. we don't want to see that.
  
• grateful for jakes signature lean-to on the brass railing after ali left.
  ultimate anguish. noted.
  
• i'm really going to work on ali's limo monologue for my next audition: " what did i do?....... how could i have left him?"

she's coming back.
booooring. and OVER ali.

still think tenley is the only option for j.

The Bachelor (Week 5)

I found a blog that totally made fun of the Bachelor and did like "thoughts" for each episode. I thought it was pretty funny and I totally agreed with pretty much the whole post. If you watch the Bachelor then you will get the joke...if not...skip ahead..this post wont make any sense.

WEEK 5 thoughts:

view this episode here

i'm sure they're all lovely ladies... but the characters they created gave us loads of fodder.

you're welcome and i'm sorry.

• what kind of a homemade name is tenley?!
• gia is clearly too sexy for her shirt- she can't keep her shirt on her shoulders!
• how many different ways to we need to hear "on the wings of love" as background music. last week, we heard it acoustic and california dreamin'-beach boy's-esque and this week we got full elevator rendition! clever!
• last week was plaid week for dear jakie. this week, we saw every leather jacket anyone has ever produced and even were treated to the DOUBLE v-neck. (thanks to the hs gf's , i realized why i can't tolerate jake- he reminds me of the cheeseball who broke my 16 yr old heart. broke me. now i'm SOOOOO glad that didn't work out... still makes me despise jake. sorry jake.)
• i want to put a hot poker thru my eardrum when i hear tenley's baby voice... that said, i think she's the best choice for jake.
  

• my favorite over-used bach phrases:

"i have a lot of love to give."
"she's here for all the right reasons."
"i'm starting to fall for _______(insert EVERY contestant)."
"this rose ceremony is the toughest one yet!"
"i'm not here to make friends, i'm here to fall in love."

• favorite quotes from last night:
  

"you suck at life" (allie)
"i expect my wife to always have my back." ( gangsta jake)
"a marriage can never be perfect but love can be." (pensive jake)
"you can eat my salmon." (gia)
"i assure you, i had dirty thoughts." (rinky jake)
"it's not about 'sex-appeal'. it's about 'heart-appeal'" (philosopher jake)
"i'm my dad's princes and now i'm jake's queen and he's my prince charming!" (princess vienna)

• (re: vienna) "she should be on rock of love by the way she looks!"
• loved the costume box full of early 90's drag to wear to the big castle.
  
• vienna needs to work on her fake cry- it took too long to muster up moisture.
• gia, putting your hands in your mouth in an attempt to look bashful is a bit more reprimanded 5 yr old than sexy.
• also, the band-aid finger face caress is not only hurty but slightly unsanitary!
• crazy stalker vienna wandering the castle with the lantern screaming his name was one of my favorite moments. dear v, you wouldnt be lost if you had STAYED WHERE THEY PUT YOU!
• loved that V went legs over j's body RIGHT after gia called him out on his pattern.
• jake/corrie run for each other in the park gave me shades of jason mesnick!
• corrie, totally! when i'm told i'm "going for a walk" on a date, i immediately pull out my least-sensible-impossible to walk in heels... totally. well done, miss practical!
• jake and corrie's "kiss the girl" boat ride was CLASSIC!
• i did the math and if he's willing to go 80% and she's willing to go 10%........ that makes 90%. guess that explains the axe at the rose ceremony.
  
• ang: "vienna always looks like she's going to throw up."
• the aquarium date gave me the weebs....more on that later... that's "why i hate fish" post 3
• please, would somebody give allie a purse? i love me the l.l. bean tote, but it just wasn't working with the outfit.
  
• her favorite flower is the daisy? the gerber daisy?! that's a dealbreaker, ladies!
• loved their picnic but i was wondering when uncle jesse and danny tanner were going to run out with the rest of the tanner clan!
• allie's barefoot soccer moves finally explained her constant hagged out soccer ponytail! i get it now!
• running into the freezing sf water isn't exactly spontaneous, it's stupid. and you ruined your boots, you wierdo.
  
• vienna gave us consistant polygamy/ martha washington dos. hey, she's got a style!
• corrie mastered the rose ceremony pout. expert.
  
• jake could teach vienna a thing or two about the insincere misty eye after his lump at the rose ceremony. well played, jake.
  

tra-la-la.
those are the peanut gallery thoughts for this week....
i know the spoilers say it's vienna, but i just CAN'T see it happening!
i think tenley is his girl.

you?

Lucky and in Love

Love Birds!!

My little sister Makinzie got engaged lastnight to her boyfriend Chad. It was super cute. He told her he was taking her to a special preview of the new movie Valentines Day...but it was really a slide show of pictures of them with cute love songs playing along. Then he had her stand up and the lights came on and he got on his knee. The theater was filled with family and friends! She was totally surprised! CONGRATS you little love birds!