I found a blog that totally made fun of the Bachelor and did like "thoughts" for each episode. I thought it was pretty funny and I totally agreed with pretty much the whole post. If you watch the Bachelor then you will get the joke...if not...skip ahead..this post wont make any sense.
WEEK 5 thoughts:
view this episode here
i'm sure they're all lovely ladies... but the characters they created gave us loads of fodder.
you're welcome and i'm sorry.
- what kind of a homemade name is tenley?!
- gia is clearly too sexy for her shirt- she can't keep her shirt on her shoulders!
- how many different ways to we need to hear "on the wings of love" as background music. last week, we heard it acoustic and california dreamin'-beach boy's-esque and this week we got full elevator rendition! clever!
- last week was plaid week for dear jakie. this week, we saw every leather jacket anyone has ever produced and even were treated to the DOUBLE v-neck. (thanks to the hs gf's , i realized why i can't tolerate jake- he reminds me of the cheeseball who broke my 16 yr old heart. broke me. now i'm SOOOOO glad that didn't work out... still makes me despise jake. sorry jake.)
- i want to put a hot poker thru my eardrum when i hear tenley's baby voice... that said, i think she's the best choice for jake.
- my favorite over-used bach phrases:
"she's here for all the right reasons."
"i'm starting to fall for _______(insert EVERY contestant)."
"this rose ceremony is the toughest one yet!"
"i'm not here to make friends, i'm here to fall in love."
- favorite quotes from last night:
"i expect my wife to always have my back." ( gangsta jake)
"a marriage can never be perfect but love can be." (pensive jake)
"you can eat my salmon." (gia)
"i assure you, i had dirty thoughts." (rinky jake)
"it's not about 'sex-appeal'. it's about 'heart-appeal'" (philosopher jake)
"i'm my dad's princes and now i'm jake's queen and he's my prince charming!" (princess vienna)
- (re: vienna) "she should be on rock of love by the way she looks!"
- loved the costume box full of early 90's drag to wear to the big castle.
- vienna needs to work on her fake cry- it took too long to muster up moisture.
- gia, putting your hands in your mouth in an attempt to look bashful is a bit more reprimanded 5 yr old than sexy.
- also, the band-aid finger face caress is not only hurty but slightly unsanitary!
- crazy stalker vienna wandering the castle with the lantern screaming his name was one of my favorite moments. dear v, you wouldnt be lost if you had STAYED WHERE THEY PUT YOU!
- loved that V went legs over j's body RIGHT after gia called him out on his pattern.
- jake/corrie run for each other in the park gave me shades of jason mesnick!
- corrie, totally! when i'm told i'm "going for a walk" on a date, i immediately pull out my least-sensible-impossible to walk in heels... totally. well done, miss practical!
- jake and corrie's "kiss the girl" boat ride was CLASSIC!
- i did the math and if he's willing to go 80% and she's willing to go 10%........ that makes 90%. guess that explains the axe at the rose ceremony.
- ang: "vienna always looks like she's going to throw up."
- the aquarium date gave me the weebs....more on that later... that's "why i hate fish" post 3
- please, would somebody give allie a purse? i love me the l.l. bean tote, but it just wasn't working with the outfit.
- her favorite flower is the daisy? the gerber daisy?! that's a dealbreaker, ladies!
- loved their picnic but i was wondering when uncle jesse and danny tanner were going to run out with the rest of the tanner clan!
- allie's barefoot soccer moves finally explained her constant hagged out soccer ponytail! i get it now!
- running into the freezing sf water isn't exactly spontaneous, it's stupid. and you ruined your boots, you wierdo.
- vienna gave us consistant polygamy/ martha washington dos. hey, she's got a style!
- corrie mastered the rose ceremony pout. expert.
- jake could teach vienna a thing or two about the insincere misty eye after his lump at the rose ceremony. well played, jake.
those are the peanut gallery thoughts for this week....
i know the spoilers say it's vienna, but i just CAN'T see it happening!
i think tenley is his girl.
you?
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